Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Relationship Room with Dr. Scales: Post-Coital Cuddle?

Dr. Kerri Scales joins us once again for her Wednesday take on what works in a relationship and what doesn't.



*Editor's Note: Dr. Scales welcomes questions from people of all walks of life and love. You can send your questions to her whenever you like. As she is a member of the medical profession, she honors, with the utmost respect, the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement. And she's a hell of a gal besides.



Greetings my love-struck lunatics, I’m feeling a little frisky this week as I am sitting on a pile of cash, literally, after last week’s big payday from sassy pants Tardashian. Let’s just say her emergency case of the “hebetic flu” turned out be a far more serious case of the ancient soul-killing machine known as the “meretricious fever.” And those medical bills are piling up faster than Tommy Lee Jones on the case of, well, any fugitive. 

But let's get to the part where I offer my expertise on your burning relationship questions…


Dear Dr. Scales, (Ooh, I like this one already)

My girlfriend always wants to cuddle after we do "it." I'm just not that into cuddling; I really just want her to get up and leave so I can start drinking with my friends.  What should I do? 

Yours,

The Dirk Diggler of North Carolina (heeeeeeee-haawwwwwwwwwwww)


Well if it isn’t little old Dirk Diggler! I haven’t heard from you since our short-lived stint in everybody’s favorite band, “The Ex-Girlfriends and The Moody Tuesday’s” back at good old Mary Wash. Nostalgia aside, you pose an excellent question here.

Let me start off by saying that cuddling is in no way a mandatory post coital behavior. I mean if it was, don’t you think Stan and Jan would have dedicated an entire Berenstain Bears book to it? In all seriousness, it sounds like this is important to your lady. If you’re not willing to compromise and show her some much-needed affection after a little pickle tickle, then I’m afraid to say it’s time to throw in the towel.

I hate to be blunt but fuck it, this is my column. It sounds like you’re in a relationship for the sex and nothing more, man. If that’s all you desire - a steady stream of sexual relations - you’re going about it all wrong. In a world full of germaphobes and Craigslist Casual Encounters, it’s pretty easy to find good, clean sex (in your area!) with someone who will want to do the deed, put their party pants back on, and be on their merry way faster than you can crack open that 40oz. No strings attached; no feelings hurt.

Bottom line: Don’t commit yourself to someone if you’re not ready and willing to show him or her the love and affection they deserve and desire. When true feelings exist between two people, putting your partners needs above yours will not only be something you each strive to accomplish but also something you find yourselves doing more often than not.
As always my door is open. Well not really my door, but my e-mail in-box. And when I say that I mean that you can e-mail me with questions that I will try my best to answer when I am not busy cashing checks from wealthy patients like Tim Tardashian.


1 comment:

  1. Dr. Scales...you are as equally funny as you are insightful when it comes to relationships. Can you blog every day?

    ReplyDelete